Fantastical Literary Inspiration 4

It's back and it's the last one: the perfect little thinking game from Annie Edge for your next writing break. Grab a cup of tea, a biscuit and get your thinking cap on to work out this riddle... It may even inspire your writing a little bit! So, it’s come round again … time for a little Picture Book fun.
So, it’s finally here … the last of these strange little ‘Guess the picture book’ features. And to be honest, I’d become a bit lackadaisical about the whole process, thinking I had it all in hand – I have a notebook with a whole set of Fantastical Literary Inspirations safely packed inside, you see. It’s just a question of laying my hands on that notebook and typing it out.

Except I can’t find the notebook.

I still can’t find the notebook.

Not only do I have all my Fantastical Literary Inspirations in that notebook, I also have copious brain-shavings for my WIP – a quite fantastical YA Romance. I cannot start writing without that notebook. I am paralysed. I am bereft. I go through the stages of grief very quickly – denial (“It’s in the house somewhere – I haven’t lost it – it’ll turn up”); anger (“Right, who’s taken my notebook? It was right here … who’s moved it?”); bargaining (“Ok, so I can’t write until it re-appears so I can get on with all those household chores I’ve been oh so desperate to catch up with. And then whoever’s taken it can put it back”); depression (“I’ll never write again. I’m finished”). Until some wise and kindly advice from a writing friend: “Annie, notebooks are for processing ideas. You’ve processed them. Now trust. Let the magic happen!”
I’ll probably never find that notebook. And you know what? I don’t care.

FANTASTICAL LITERARY INSPIRATION No.4

(Remember, you need to guess the author and the book but I’m afraid - in the true spirit of an occupation with few extrinsic rewards - there’s no prize for the correct answer.)

I wrote to the publisher to send me a contract. They sent it with a clause saying I would do school visits for free! I sent that back.
… They sent it with a clause saying if I paid for distribution, they’d gladly take me on. Oh, and could I pay for printing as well. I sent that back.
… They sent it with a clause saying they wanted life-time subsidiary rights. I sent that back.
… They sent it with a clause saying they wanted international publication rights for the lifetime of the author. I sent that back.
… They sent it with a clause saying that If the book was sold at other than their usual and customary discount, the above mention royalties would be reduced by one half. I sent that back.
I wrote to the publisher to send me a contract. So they thought very hard and …
… sent me a basket with a label:
FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT THE PUBLISHING HOUSE
… and inside was a puppy!
He was perfect. I kept him.
And of course, I was so delighted with the puppy that I just signed on that dotted line anyway!

(The answer to last time's FLI was Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.)



Annie Edge writes from flattest Suffolk where the skies are wide and blue. Once shortlisted for the East Anglian Book Award, she is now looking further afield. 

Twitter: @edge_am


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