EVENTS Writing dialogue

 

International bestselling author William Sutcliffe beamed onto writers' screens for an online workshop, hosted by SCBWI Scotland. Yvonne Banham reports.

 

At the end of May, SCBWIs from Scotland and elsewhere gathered for an online workshop on dialogue with international bestselling author William Sutcliffe. It was an interactive session involving the close analysis of dialogue-writing techniques in two well-known books, The Graduate and The House at Pooh Corner. How could two such hugely different texts hold the key to writing great dialogue?

 

Will made it clear from the start that he couldn’t offer us zingers and one-liners to make our work soar, but he could show us how to make our words work seamlessly. Written well, the reader shouldn’t notice the move to dialogue, it should flow naturally from prose to spoken word. We were told to pay special attention to what was happening outside the dialogue, what it was telling us and the role it was playing in the narrative flow.

 

Will made it clear from the start that he couldn’t offer us zingers and one-liners to make our work soar, but he could show us how to make our words work seamlessly

We began with a reading from The Graduate with two attendees taking on the roles and a third reading the words between the speech, including an Oscar worthy rendering of Mrs Robinson from SCBWI Scotlander Sheila Averbuch. But it was what was happening between the words spoken by the characters that held the key.

 

What happens around the dialogue sets the scene, indicates who’s speaking and shows physical action. It fills in the gaps as the story unfolds around the dialogue. In the passage from The Graduate, "said" is the only verb used to indicate who’s speaking. No adverbs. This is different to many children’s authors, for example J.K Rowling, but Will advised that in place of adverbs, add variety with a change of verb, for example instead of "said quietly" use "whispered".

 

Poster for the movie, The Graduate. Picture credit: Wikipedia 

Feelings can be expressed covertly with the pacing of the scene. Dialogue happens in real time, so silences and gaps slow things down, indicating nervousness, tension, anticipation. Flow shows confidence; ebb and flow together - power shifts. Add a pause using "(they) frowned" or "(they) shrugged", a redundant "said" at the end of a sentence to slow pace. One speaker leaving another’s dialogue hanging can be used to indicate embarrassment or awkwardness.

 

The next step is vital. READ YOUR DIALOGUE ALOUD. This not only checks for pace and rhythm, but for writer’s ‘tics’ such as characters repetitively blinking, shrugging, sighing.

 

Are they struggling for words? Do they already know what they want to say? Move the "said" around while reading aloud and see how it affects things

You can show how the speaker is feeling by considering where to put "(they) said" in the sentence, so you’re not simply indicating who is saying something, but how fluently they’re speaking. Are they struggling for words? Do they already know what they want to say? Move the "said" around while reading aloud and see how it affects things. This is especially crucial with humorous dialogue and checks that the core of the humour lands where it should.

 

Including an object in the passage can show a character’s state of mind without being overt. What are they doing to that object while they’re speaking? For example, a piece of paper. Are they folding it with precision? Are they ripping off tiny pieces? Are they screwing it up? Careful interspacing between what’s being said and what’s happening to the object significantly enhances dramatic pacing. Inserting a physical action can express emotion, such as slowly stepping away when afraid and careful use of punctuation affects rhythm, eg. a colon to mark an abrupt pause.

 

[Picture credit: Wikipedia]

"Said" is enough when there are two people in the conversation, but what if a cast of characters are speaking, like in the extract from The House at Pooh Corner? If "said (name)" becomes repetitive, choose "asked" or "explained". Variety breaks the monotony but keep it simple, so that you don’t detract from the dialogue. Another technique in this situation is reported speech. This avoids characters telling each other information that the reader already has and can skip through things quickly. It can act as an accelerator or decelerator as opposed to the real-time pace of dialogue. 

It’s also useful if the dialogue is dragging, but if you’re using reported speech, double check that it wouldn’t be better as dialogue anyway. Characters truly come alive when they’re speaking. Even a tiny section of reported speech can break up a long passage of dialogue. For example, "Eeyore thanked him," rather than 'Thank you', said Eeyore".

 

It was noted that the humour in Pooh comes not from dialogue alone but from what the characters do, how they move and facial expressions. The words can be simple, but your character work brings them to life

Strong characterisation through speech also helps the reader identify the speaker. The formal voice of Eeyore is clearly distinct from the bouncy disordered mispronunciations of Tigger. Additions can be made between the spoken words to indicate mood and action as well as controlling pace, for example, "Hot",  he said with a huge and friendly smile.

 

It was noted that the humour in Pooh comes not from dialogue alone but from what the characters do, how they move and facial expressions. The words can be simple, but your character work brings them to life.

 

And finally, do a slow close reading of a writer you admire. See how much work they’ve done around the spoken words to make the dialogue sing. This is the writer’s equivalent of a mechanic looking under the bonnet of a car, so get out your spanners, or pens, and prepare to make your dialogue soar.

 

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William Sutcliffe is the author of thirteen novels, including the international bestseller Are You Experienced? and The Wall, which was shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal. He has written for adults, young adults and children, and has been translated into twenty-eight languages. His novel Whatever Makes You Happy was filmed by Netflix under the title Otherhood. The Gifted, The Talented and Me was The Sunday Times 2019 Children’s Book of the Year and his latest novel, The Summer We Turned Green, was published in July 2021.

 

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Yvonne Banham writes MG fiction and her debut novel The Dark and Dangerous Gifts of Delores Mackenzie will be published by Firefly in early 2023. She has been selected for The Scottish Book Trust’s Debut Lab 2022 and was one of SCBWI BI’s Undiscovered Voices 2020. She studied with the Golden Egg Academy for three years and is a former Network Organiser for SCBWI Scotland. She lives and works in the almost-wilds of Stirlingshire.