SPECIAL FEATURE All imposters are welcome

 "Secrets are meant to be kept unknown, so why do I feel compelled to tell you my secret? I have imposter syndrome." Karen Barrett writes about imposter syndrome.

 

Research suggests that as many as 70% of professionals have suffered imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. However, I think the true figure is higher because who wants to admit to excessive stress, a fear of failure, performance anxiety, or a lack of confidence?

 

When you next ask yourself, “Do I deserve my current ‘success’?", do not listen to your negativity which tells you what you have not done or what you do not have. The answer will always be ‘yes’ because only you are responsible for your success. You might have been uncomfortable stepping out of your comfort zone at times, been unsure where to start, or think that you were not ready, or good enough, but you must have found the courage to get where you are today. Trust yourself. Be your own cheerleader. If you are doubting why you should succeed further, ask yourself over and over again, toddler-style, “Why not?”

 

 

Why not?

 

There is one thing I always say to my young children when they are scared, nervous, or shy: “Let’s do this together.” 

But why should you listen to me? (Why not? *wink*)

 

On my first day of school, the teacher asked the class who wanted to be my friend and, within seconds, a girl put her hand up. That girl and I were best friends for seven great years, but the day I refused to start smoking was the first time I felt like an outcast. From early on, I was true to myself.

 

I had fun studying for an art diploma in college, but I always felt I did not belong, so I left to be a checkout assistant, then a receptionist, and later a host. All three customer-facing roles brought social interaction and a sense of satisfaction. I was directly contributing to a better world, making people smile, and improving my own well-being. From early on, I knew I wanted to support others.

 

I did not go to university because I never knew what I wanted to be, and I did not want to be left with debt. From early on, I made rational decisions. I was anxious about going against the grain, but I found the courage to follow my own path. I was ambitious but I could not see where my aspirations were trying to guide me.

 

Not good enough or a perfectionist?

 

By my late twenties, I was working as a personal assistant. Even though my boss told me I was the best PA he had ever had (and there were many), I never felt good enough. I was The Perfectionist. From early on, I was well-organised and proactive, but my creativity felt confined.

 

In my thirties, I became a mother and when schools closed during Covid, it forced everyone to feel imposter syndrome to some degree:

 

• The Superheroes overworked themselves to make up for how inadequate they felt,

 

• The Natural Geniuses set exceedingly high goals then felt crushed when they did not meet them,

 

• The Experts were never satisfied with their level of understanding (especially modern mathematics!),

 

• The Soloists did not ask for help for fear of appearing weak and incompetent, and

 

• The Perfectionists were fixated on their flaws instead of their strengths.

 

 

Lockdown unlocked my ambition

 

However, imposter syndrome was a familiar feeling to me. Yet, I was now surrounded by people who felt what I had felt my whole life. Instead of being reassured by this new circumstance, I took the opportunity to share my strength when others could not find theirs. I blogged about our lockdown life on Facebook while being honest, supportive, and writing creatively. Why? My priority was to help my children through lockdown, but I wanted to help more people. Ironically, the COVID lockdown unlocked my undiscovered literary ambition.

 

Subsequently, I wrote four story-style blogs for an educational company, seven board books, several picture books, and my first middle-grade chapter book. At 36 years old with no professional qualifications, or children’s book writing experience, or support network, surely, I was an imposter again. Yes, I set exceedingly high goals for myself and I was full of self-doubt, but I was happy. From then on, I realised I wanted to be a writer.

 

Imposter syndrome has never held me back. On the contrary, it has forced me to challenge my choices and allowed me to discover who I am and to continually improve myself and develop new skills. I have learned that wherever I stood yesterday is not where I need to stand tomorrow.

 

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” Brian Tracy

 

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” John Assaraf

 

I constantly live outside my comfort zone. Is this healthy? I have no idea. Is it easy? Absolutely not. However, imposter syndrome has brought me many opportunities and successful outcomes. Change is inevitable, after all, and is usually out of our control. Circumstances change as do our opportunities. Priorities change as do our fears. Our personal growth, whether intellectual, moral, spiritual, physical, or social, is a direct result of living a full life! But we can influence a change in our future and live healthier, happier lives if we control fear while it is still small. You can increase the chance of success following just one proactive change: a change in mindset.

 

My success story demonstrates that resilience, integrity, and courage are the keys to writing your success story.

 

‘Your vibe will find your tribe’ they say, and I agree. All imposters are welcome, the more the merrier. Let’s do this together!

 

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This article is inspired by Leona Burton (creator of the world’s largest 'mums in business' community, entrepreneur, speaker, Forbes featured mentor, and mum of 6) and Steven Bartlett’s interview on ‘The Diary of a CEO’ with Evy Poumpouras (an American journalist, author of the best-selling memoir, ‘Becoming Bulletproof’, a special agent, polygraph examiner, and interrogator with the United States Secret Service from 2000 to 2012, and previously a co-host of the TV series, Spy Games).

 

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*Header illustration: Ell Rose 

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Born in Cambridge, England, Karen Barrett had administrative jobs for 13 years before realising that colour-coding emails was just not creative enough. Being described as “the most organised author I have ever worked with” by a Pan Macmillan editor encouraged her to turn her literary dream into a reality. When she is not writing stories, poetry, or to-do lists, you will find her enjoying the Devonshire countryside with her family, who she considers to be the most precious thing in her life. 

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Ell Rose is the Illustration Features Editor of Words & Pictures.

Find their work at https://fourfooteleven.com

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Contact them at illustrators@britishscbwi.org