Coping With Rejection

By Elizabeth Dale


You’ve done it! You’ve written your book, you’ve edited it over and over, you’ve given it to friends and fellow wise SCBWI members to read and then – ta-ra! - you’ve emailed it to a lucky publisher or agent. What do you do now?

Put out the flags, guzzle champagne, collapse in an exhausted heap, even maybe start talking to family and friends again. All those things. And something else, too – when you’ve had a breather and finally rejoined the human race, there’s something you really need to do. You start something else.

While you write this something else, of course you check your emails. Again. And again. And then just when you think you can’t possibly wait any longer it comes. The pin that bursts your bubble of happiness. The rejection email.

While your book is out on submission, start something new.

 

Welcome to the club...

What now? You tell yourself that publishers turned their noses up at Harry Potter at least 12 times and Watership Down 26 times, while Gone with the Wind suffered 33 rejections – this article could be filled with examples of best-sellers rejected. Amongst fellow scoobies, it took our own wonderful 2011 Crystal Kite Award winner Candy Gourlay 16 years to get published, (although she often says nine, if she doesn't count picture books) and the inspiring 2012 Crystal Kite Award winner, Sara Grant had to keep going for 17 years between the first attempt at writing a book and the long-awaited acceptance letter. So, you remind yourself that rejection is normal, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something to move forward from – and even that agents and editors can be fallible. And eventually you manage to bring yourself to look again at the rejection email. If it’s a standard one line ‘sorry this isn’t for us, others may feel differently’ then test it out. Maybe they’re right – in that anyway! Tell yourself the secret mantra – ‘Rejection is an opportunity to resubmit’ and re-submit! Hey, there are plenty of other agents/publishers out there!

Rejection is normal, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's something to move forward from.


But what if the rejection email is more than one line? What if it says nice things about your writing? What if it criticises your precious text?? Maybe both? Whatever the feedback, give yourself a great big HUGE pat on the back! That snowed-under editor has actually taken time in her hectic day to tell you what she thinks. Why? Because you’re worth it. She has seen nuggets of gold in your writing, she can see a way you can make it even better - such help from an expert in the business is invaluable. Whatever the criticism have another look at your text. And maybe edit some more. And then send it off again.

What now? No matter how many times you get rejected, each time it hurts. You had hopes and they were dashed. It’s hard to motivate yourself to do anything except glare at the cat and eat chocolate. You certainly can’t bring yourself to start something new...

Which is why you started something new when you were full of hope and dreams. You’re already in the middle of your next project. Go back to it. Lose yourself in that wonderful make-believe world of your characters where you don’t have to think about rejection – and keep writing. And guess what, when you’ve finished it, you’ll have something else to send out, too. Double the chance of rejection – and acceptance!

Rejections will come. I have to be honest, unless you are absolutely brilliant and lucky, the odds are that you’re going to get rejected, possibly a lot. And each time it still hurts - a lot. But with each little tit-bit of feedback each rejection letter holds, you’re going to learn something new about your writing. And you’re going to get better at it. And when the brilliant day comes that you get that incredibly amazing acceptance email, it is so fantastically wonderful that it more than makes up for pain of rejection twenty times over.

How do I know this? I’ve been writing for a LONG time. I’ve had more rejections than you can probably imagine in your worst nightmares. BUT I hung on in there and I have had those wonderful acceptance emails, too. I could so easily have given up, but I didn’t. One of my lowest points was when I was accidentally sent a reader’s real thoughts on a magazine story I had written. Oh, they were scathing! But after licking my wounds I realised that was what I needed. So from that time on I always asked for honest feedback, and where I got it, I learned from it. And I persevered.

Persevere!


So keep on persevering, keep on writing and keep on learning from feedback. But most of all, keep on sending your work out! It’s a mad, crazy business we’re all involved in – but the best in the world!


@LizDaleAuthor
Elizabeth Dale was rejected countless times for many years before her first short story and then her first children's book was accepted. She still gets loads of rejections, but in between them all, over the years, she has had over a thousand short stories and twenty-seven children's books published. Perseverance should have been her middle name! Her most recent books are Off to Market! The Carrot Cake Catastrophe and My Secret Alien. Elizabeth lives in a village in Sussex. 


14 comments:

  1. Thanks, Elizabeth. This is a tough business and it's heartening to know that everyone is going through the same stuff. I've always found it really difficult to engage with a new project when I have a book out on submission - I can write, but can't necessarily "settle" to the task or give it my full attention. But each book I finish is another chance to make the waiting period a better experience!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry, Nick, I replied to this just before going out this afternoon and returned to find that I must have somehow deleted it before I posted it. Self-rejection...? Guess I can't blame modern technology to you, can I?!

      Whilst rejection never stops hurting - I had a rejection last week that hit me particularly badly - it does help to know that those whose writing we admire have been through it, too.I think you will probably get more used to getting on with writing while waiting as time goes by - unless of course, you started getting acceptances!

      Delete
  2. What a great post Liz - so encouraging and so true. Starting something new is so important - it gives you something new to love, to hold onto while you wait and wait!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And something else to send out and wait and wait for, until waiting is second nature to you...

      Delete
  3. In some ways, subbing a book is similar to selling a house. You decorate it nicely, tidy up the rough edges, but ultimately it depends whether the buyer likes your taste. It's all so subjective. A rejection doesn't mean that your work is necessarily bad, it can simply mean that the reader doesn't share your sense of style. If not, find someone who does or build another house!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good analogy - but even more personal than selling your house - because you built every single inch of it. And of course, if they say the roof is too low, you can lower it if you wish, if it's too big you can shorten it if you agree with them. And you can build another house while finding someone else to buy the first one

      Delete
    2. I often find myself alone on matters of style...
      I think I may have been the only person who bought the Ikea bucket lampshade for their newly extended and decorated kitchen about ten years ago;)

      Delete
  4. Oh Jan! Do you have a picture? My subconscious has blocked it from my memory!Maybe you could start a new trend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. here's one like it: http:
      //www.ebay.ie/itm/Ikea-PS-Bucket-pendant-lamp-ceiling-light-Modern-unique-lighting-clear-New-NIP-/281104991596?pt=US_Chandeliers_and_Ceiling_Fixtures&hash=item417329c56c#ht_500wt_1156

      It was mad.

      Delete
    2. Oh my goodness, you've suddenly expanded my horizons, Jan! Cue the next BIG IDEA!
      Do you put what you like in the bucket or does it come with the balls? Could you fill it with screwed up rejection letters??? And then, maybe set fire to them - sorry got a bit carried away there!

      Delete
    3. Thank you, Jan. There is so much to copy and keep from Words and Pictures. Will everything stay on-line or will articles disappear when they reach a certain age?

      Delete
  5. Thank you Elizabeth, we should all bookmark this, whatever stage we're at, to read at THOSE times. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Elizabeth, you're so right. We met last year at the CBC Meet and Critique and all feedback, comments, reader's points of view are so helpful. What keeps me going is knowing that everytime I write, I'm improving as a writer - it's a matter of time and hard work and I'll get there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi David, I remember you well, lovely to hear from you - I was at the CBC Meet and Critique last night - just - despite fallen trees on the line. Those sessions are invaluable, as are all the SCBWI workshops/sessions/masterclasses of course (she adds hurriedly!). Feedback is like nectar to all us writers, even when it's accompanied by a 'Sorry not for us' I'm glad to hear you feel you're getting there - keep on keeping on!

      Delete

We love comments and really appreciate the time it takes to leave one.
Interesting and pithy reactions to a post are brilliant but we also LOVE it when people just say they've read and enjoyed.
We've made it easy to comment by losing the 'are you human?' test, which means we get a lot of spam. Fortunately, Blogger recognises these, so most, if not all, anonymous comments are deleted without reading.

Words & Pictures is the Online Magazine of SCBWI British Isles. Powered by Blogger.