Ask an Agent - with Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn, from the Bent Agency

 

Are you looking for a query critique from those in the know? Or do you have a question you've always wanted to ask an agent? Each month, agents Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn from The Bent Agency are offering just that.

This month they answer some more of our readers' burning questions, and critique a query.

How long should someone wait before chasing for a reply to a full manuscript request?

Gemma and I always confirm receipt of a full manuscript and give an idea of our response time, if you haven’t heard from us within that timeframe, then it’s all right to nudge us. If the agent you’ve sent your full to doesn’t give you a timeframe, then I suggest you check in with her after three months or so.

Do you brainstorm ideas for new projects with your clients?

Absolutely – if the client wants that. We love brainstorming! We’re out meeting with editors all the time, so we can help clients develop commercial ideas with particular editors in mind, or play with ideas based on trends we’re seeing in requests from editors. Some clients prefer not to brainstorm ideas first, and that’s okay also. As I’ve said before, every client is different and we have different relationships with each one.

I'm in Australia for the next year. Would UK agents consider submissions from writers who are temporarily overseas? 

Yes, but then we represent clients living all over the world. Ideally, if we’re selling to a UK publisher, it would be good if you are in the country when your book is published so you can promote your book and do school visits to get word of mouth out on the playground. Most of the pre-publication process is done by email, although it is always nice to get to meet your editor.

I'm writing a contemporary witch school story and would love to occasionally reference some Harry Potter words as in, 'Where's the Hogwarts feast?' or 'I'm no muggle, I'm just normal.' Is it OK to do that? I've seen references to other material, celebrities, tv programmes etc in books but people keep warning me not to do it. 

Tricky one. It probably wouldn’t require permission from J.K. Rowling’s publisher, but doing this might date your book and make it a target of comparison to Harry Potter. I think it’s better to do your own world-building rather than using someone else’s. 

Query : 

Izzy Fryer, a thirteen-year-old Londoner, unleashes an ancient power when she finds a silver locket in an isolated Peak District village. Following the discovery, she notices that the locket bears a mark associated with a local resurrection legend, but it’s only after a break-in and a vicious attack that she starts to realise its potential. Cuts and bruises disappear overnight, a broken leg heals miraculously. Drawing upon her urban instincts, she must decide who to trust with the secret before someone forces it from her. But it’s not so easy to choose when everyone’s a potential suspect - including her own family. 

Here's what Gemma and Molly said:

Izzy Fryer, a thirteen-year-old Londoner Why is the fact she is from London important if the story is set in the Peak District?, unleashes an ancient power when she finds a silver locket in an isolated Peak District village. Is she on holiday? You could reword this: When on holiday in an isolated Peak District village, thirteen year old Izzy Fryer discovers a silver locket that unleashes an ancient power. 

Following the discovery, she notices that the locket bears a mark associated with a local resurrection legend, but it’s only after a break-in and a vicious attack On who? that she starts to realise its potential. Cuts and bruises disappear overnight, a broken leg heals miraculously. Whose leg? 

Drawing upon her urban instincts, she must decide who to trust What has the fact that she’s a Londoner got to do with her ability to work out who to trust? with the secret the secret of what? That the locket heals, or is it something bigger? before someone forces it from her. But it’s not so easy to choose when everyone’s a potential suspect Suspect of what? The attack or the break-in? Or something else?- including her own family. 

We love short and to-the-point queries, but this is a little too short and vague to really give us an understanding of the world and who the players are. There’s room here to tell us a bit more of the story. What is this ancient power? Who gets hurt? What are people suspected of? 

This pitch part of your query can be one or two paragraphs. Introduce your main character: What does she want? What’s preventing her from achieving those goals? And what are the stakes if she doesn’t achieve them? Don’t let brevity prevent you from telling us what we need to know to get hooked on your story! 

Gemma says: Molly and I are both away next month, but we have organised an exciting guest agent to take over the feature - Penny Holroyde from the Caroline Sheldon Literary Agency . Please send over questions for Penny as soon as possible, and make them good ones! Questions can be sent to writers@britishscbwi.org or post them in the comments below. Molly and I will be back to answer questions or critique queries in October.

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@gemma_cooper 

@mollykh

Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn represent authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma and Molly see The Bent Agency website and blog.