Ask an Agent - with Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn, from the Bent Agency

 

Are you looking for a query critique from those in the know? Or do you have a question you've always wanted to ask an agent? Each month, agents Gemma Cooper and Molly Ker Hawn from The Bent Agency are offering just that.

This month, they answer more of our readers' burning questions and critique a query.

Questions:

For a picture book submission, together with the manuscript, what other pieces of artwork should someone include? E.g. A storyboard, a character sheet and a double page spread? 

First, check the submission requirements to see if anything is particularly requested on the agent’s or publisher’s website. Personally, I like to see two finished spreads, or one finished spread and a character sheet. You could also include a rough storyboard, or thumbnails. I never expect to see this in submissions, but it can be helpful for showing how you envisage the completed story. Always include a link to any of your other artwork that is available online. Make sure you have updated your website with any new work before submitting to agents, and take down anything old that you don’t want them to see. 

If you have some children's fiction that's not quite ready to submit, but find yourself with an offer from a publisher for a children's non-fiction book, should you look for an agent who likes your fiction as well? How do you go about doing that when your fiction isn't yet quite the best it could be? 

A good agent will be open to discussion about your fiction as well as the offer you have in hand. Explain that you’re working on a fiction project (or projects) as well and be prepared to show a draft to agents who are interested in speaking with you about representation. Some agents have the skills and background to help you with polishing your work and getting it ready for publication. 


Query:

Original Query :

Dear Gemma/Mrs Ker Hawn, 

I’m seeking representation for my picture book texts ‘Wunderpants!’ and ‘Finn The Friendly Shark’ (complete at 460 words and 610 words respectively). They are both humorous rhyming picture book texts aimed at 4-7 year olds.

[Is it OK to send more than one picture book query at a time? I’ve read that it’s acceptable to send up to three at once.] 

Wunderpants! 

It’s Nell’s first day at school and… disaster strikes! She has an ‘accident’ and, when her teacher tries to find her some clean underwear, only a pair of boy’s blue underpants will fit. But these are no ordinary pants. They are WUNDERPANTS! and, when Nell puts them on, wonderful things start to happen. Maybe, just maybe, Nell’s first day at school won’t be so bad after all…

[I’m not sure how much detail to go into here. This story is obviously about ‘first day at school worries’ and also, more generally, shyness/confidence. Hopefully this is apparent from the above synopsis/pitch.] 

Finn The Friendly Shark 

Life can be tough when you’re a great white shark who’s more fun-loving than ferocious: fish are your friends, the neighbours all laugh, even your own family seem embarrassed. So cute little Finn runs away with hopes of becoming menacing and mean. Will he be able to prove himself and win the respect of his father and older brothers?

[Again, is this enough? This story has a bit more going on. It’s touches on lots of themes including: not fitting in; not living up to your family’s expectations; what it’s like to be a boy who isn’t overtly macho; that it’s OK to be sensitive; that brains can be better than brawn; that parents aren’t always right. Should I mention any of this or just hope the prospective agent will be intrigued enough to read the text and form their own opinions?] 

I’m a 39-year-old mum of two (girls aged 8 and 5). I’ve always loved stories and, for the past 15 years, I’ve written about other people’s – as a TV reviewer and features writer on national magazines such as TV Choice, Closer, TV Quick and The Total TV Guide. 

In December 2011 I attended an Arvon Foundation course about picture books (the course tutors were Peter Bently and Mei Matsuoka) which inspired me to begin writing picture book texts of my own. 

My story ‘The Sun And The Moon’ was one of 20 shortlisted finalists in the recent Walker Books/Mumsnet Book of Bedtime Stories competition. I am also a member of SCBWI. 

Thank you for your time. Yours sincerely, 


Here's what Gemma and Molly said:

Dear Gemma/Mrs Ker Hawn, 

I’m seeking representation for my picture book texts ‘Wunderpants!’ and ‘Finn The Friendly Shark’ (complete at 460 words and 610 words respectively). They are both humorous rhyming picture book texts aimed at 4-7 year olds. 

[Is it OK to send more than one picture book query at a time? I’ve read that it’s acceptable to send up to three at once.] Yes, for picture books it’s fine to send up to three at once. Just make sure they’re the very best ones you have, and don’t just send three because you can! 

Wunderpants! - It’s Nell’s first day at school and… disaster strikes! She has an ‘accident’ and, when her teacher tries to find her some clean underwear, only a pair of boy’s blue underpants will fit. But these are no ordinary pants. They are WUNDERPANTS! and, When Nell puts them on, wonderful things start to happen. Maybe, just maybe, Nell’s first day at school won’t be so bad after all…

[I’m not sure how much detail to go into here. This story is obviously about ‘first day at school worries’ and also, more generally, shyness/confidence. Hopefully this is apparent from the above synopsis/pitch.] For a picture book, a short paragraph of about 3-4 lines is fine. 

Finn The Friendly Shark - Life can be tough when you’re a great white shark who’s more fun-loving than ferocious: fish are your friends, the neighbours all laugh and even your own family seem embarrassed by you. So cute little Finn runs away with hopes of becoming menacing and mean. Will he be able to prove himself and win the respect of his father and older brothers? The plot is getting a bit lost here. Initially it’s unclear why it’s a problem that fish are his friends – having friends seems like a good thing – and then it’s unclear why the neighbours laugh. Why is being fun-loving an issue? It sounds like he’s okay and having a good time being different, so we can’t see why life is tough. Is the problem that he is cute and small? Start with the problem more clearly explained. 

[Again, is this enough? This story has a bit more going on. It’s touches on lots of themes including: not fitting in; not living up to your family’s expectations; what it’s like to be a boy who isn’t overtly macho; that it’s OK to be sensitive; that brains can be better than brawn; that parents aren’t always right. Should I mention any of this or just hope the prospective agent will be intrigued enough to read the text and form their own opinions?] Don’t tell us what themes we should be taking from a book -- we can form our own opinions. A good picture book text with a message manages to layer that message in an engaging story, so it can be read on two levels. If you try to make it too didactic, a kid will see through you!

I’m a 39-year-old mum of two (girls aged 8 and 5). We don’t really need to know this. Your work background is more relevant than your family here. 

I’ve always loved stories and, for the past 15 years, I’ve written about other people’s – as a TV reviewer and features writer on national magazines such as TV Choice, Closer, TV Quick and The Total TV Guide. 

In December 2011 I attended an Arvon Foundation course about picture books (the course tutors were Peter Bently and Mei Matsuoka) which inspired me to begin writing picture book texts of my own. 

My story ‘The Sun And The Moon’ was one of 20 shortlisted finalists in the recent Walker Books/Mumsnet Book of Bedtime Stories competition. I am also a member of SCBWI. 

Thank you for your time. Yours sincerely, 
 

---

@gemma_cooper 

@mollykh.

Gemma Cooper and  Molly Ker Hawn represent authors of books for children and young adults. For more information about Gemma and Molly see The Bent Agency website and blog.